Jesus said to the crowd,“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
— Gospel of Luke 9:23
This is a very important passage in the discipleship course “MasterLife: The Disciple’s Cross”, because being a disciple of Jesus means denying oneself and following Jesus.
To follow Jesus means to obey His commands and teachings, and to imitate His example of loving God and loving others. For me, the simplest meaning is to think about everything I do by asking, “What would Jesus do?” (WWJD), and then act according to what I believe Jesus would do. Of course, this is not based on imagination, but on knowing and understanding the Bible—understanding the motives and reasons behind what Jesus did, as well as His commands and teachings.
So what does it mean to deny oneself? More than thirty years ago, I came to faith by reading “Have You Heard of the Four Spiritual Laws?” on my own and made a decision to believe in the Lord. At that moment, I decided to let Jesus Christ sit on the throne of my life. I opened the door of my heart and received Jesus as my Savior and Lord of my life. I asked Lord Jesus to govern my entire life and make me a person after His own heart. At that moment, for me, that was what denying myself meant—just as Epistle to the Galatians 2:20 says:
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
— Galatians 2:20
This verse has become my life motto.
Later, when I read the short book “My Heart—Christ’s Home”, it showed me another meaning of denying oneself. The book compares life to a house, with every aspect and area of life being a room in the house. Believers are to let Jesus enter every room, allowing Him to cleanse what is unclean and to transform it. Denying oneself means handing every aspect and every area of life over to Jesus, allowing Him to enter, cleanse, and reshape it.
In recent years, as I entered different churches as a intern, and later came to CPC to serve as a pastor, my lesson in denying myself has been to put aside my own ideas and ways of doing things, to better understand the ideas and approaches of others, and, under God’s will, to help bring their ideas to fruition. This is very different from the time when I was the boss of my own accounting firm and could operate according to my own preferences. Now I need much more humility and much more self-denial. I ask God to help me continue to learn this lesson of denying myself well.
耶穌又對眾人說：「若有人要跟從我，就當捨己，天天背起他的十字架來跟從我。」
路加福音9:23
這是門徒訓練課程「塑造主生命門徒訓練：十架篇」(MasterLife: The Disciple’s Cross)中很重要的經文，因為作耶穌門徒就是要捨己，跟從耶穌。
跟從耶穌，就是聽從耶穌的吩咐和教導，學效耶穌的榜樣去愛神愛人。而對我來說，最簡單的意思，就是做每件事都去想「耶穌會怎麼做?」 (What would Jesus Do? (WWJD))，之後就跟着我想到耶穌的做法去做。當然，不是憑空想像的，乃是要認識、明白聖經所記載耶穌所做的事情背後的動機和原因，和耶穌的吩咐與教導。
那麼捨己呢？三十多年前，我就是自己讀「你聽過四個屬靈的原則嗎？」(Have you heard of the four spiritual laws?) 去決志信主的。當那一刻，我決定讓耶穌基督坐在我生命的寶座上，我去打開心門接受耶穌作我的救主和生命的主，我求主耶穌管理我的一生，使我成為合祂心意的人。在那一刻，對我來說，這就是捨己，就像加拉太書2:20所說
我已經與基督同釘十字架，現在活着的不再是我，乃是基督在我裏面活着；並且我如今在肉身活着，是因信神的兒子而活；他是愛我，為我捨己。
加拉太書 2:20加拉太書 2:20
這節經文成了我人生的座右銘。
而當我看「主居我心」這本薄薄的書，它讓我看到捨己的另一種意思。這本書將生命比喻成一間屋子，而生命的每一方面、每一個範疇就是屋中的房子。信徒要讓耶穌進入每一間房，讓耶穌清洗當中的不潔，被耶穌改變。捨己，就是將生命的每一方面、每一個範疇，都交給耶穌進入、清潔和改造。
在這幾年，當我進到不同教會成為實習神學生，當我來到教會成為牧者去服事，關於捨己的學習，就是放下自己的想法、做法，去更多了解別人的想法、做法，並且在神的旨意下，去成就別人的想法。這不像以前在自己的會計師行作老闆，可以按照自己的意思和做法去辦事，我需要更多的謙卑，更多的捨己。求神幫助我，繼續好好學習捨己的功課。
