Corner of Crown & Albion Streets, Surry Hills, NSW, Australia
Photo by Albert Chiu



The stained glass windows of CPC's auditorium.

Pastoral Letter 10th April 2022

Rev. Andrew Choy

“Mourn with those who mourn”

At some point in life, we all experience the loss of our loved ones. It is not a question of “if”, but a question of “when”. And when that happens, how do we cope? Is the way we deal with our loss helpful or hurting? World-renowned psychiatrist E. Kubler-Ross described the five stages of grief as: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. These are the stages that grieving individuals have more or less encountered in their mourning process. Grief counselling expert J. W. Worden on the other hand, provides a framework of four tasks to journey through grief: Accept the reality, Process the pain, Adjust to the new world, and Embark on new life. While we are no counselling experts, yet when our brothers and sisters are coping with grief and loss, how can we journey with them? This first part of two pastoral letters on grief hopefully sheds some light on walking alongside our grieving brothers and sisters.

Firstly, we should give them our heart. While paradise is always promised for those received by the Lord, the left-behind bereaved families often miss out on the promise of finding meaning out of their loss in this life. Given the unique and diverse needs of individual grievers, we are called to walk alongside them in such a difficult journey as sympathetically as possible. Romans 12:15b states “mourn with those who mourn.” The context in which Paul was writing was related to loving action and service towards others. The sympathy we show to those who mourn conveys our shared brokenness while we strive to experience the solace only God can give.

Secondly, we need to give them space. The stages or tasks of grief briefly mentioned above may help serve as a reference only, because everyone is unique and so is their loss and grieving experience. We need to refrain from relying on past experiences and/or projecting unhealthily our own emotions onto those we journey with. The journey of grief is as unique as each individual of the entire humanity. Therefore, we should allow our brothers and sisters space and help foster a self-initiated pace as they go through some of the most turbulent times in life.

Who around you are currently experiencing any kind of loss and are in great need of support and comfort? How will you journey with them?


在生命中的某個時刻,我們都會經歷到失去親人的滋味。這並不是「會否」的問題,而是「何時」的問題。當這事情真的發生時,我們該如何應對?我們處理失落的方式,是有益還是有害的?世界著名的精神病學家E. Kubler-Ross將哀傷的五個階段描述為:否認、憤怒、討價還價、抑鬱和接受,這些是哀傷的人在哀悼的過程中,或多或少所遇到的階段。哀傷輔導專家J. W. Worden另外提供了一個框架,其中包含四個任務來度過哀傷:接受現實、處理痛苦、適應新世界和開始新生活。雖然我們不是輔導專家,但當我們的弟兄姊妹們面對哀傷和失落時,我們可如何與他們同行呢?這談及哀傷的系列的首部分,希望能為我們,該如何與哀傷的弟兄姊妹同行,來提供一些啟迪。




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