In the face of life's challenging moments, we often find ourselves grappling with profound questions of existence and purpose. Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” It reminds us to reflect on the fleeting nature of our days, urging us to seek wisdom in how we use our time.
My own journey with my father's illness has been such a case. When he was diagnosed with aggressive brain cancer in January this year, I was away on a short-term mission trip, he had to grapple with the complexity of suffering and helplessness. Witnessing his rapid decline has not been easy, from the initial half-body paralysis to struggles with basic functions like swallowing, each stage a painful reminder of the fragility of life.
Yet, amid the darkness, there have been glimmers of light. God answered his prayer request which he asked me to pray for, and he was able to witness the World Cup in 2022. He was fit enough to attend the weddings of two grandchildren last year, one of which was overseas. God also answered my prayer. Despite my father’s lifelong scepticism, he requested to trust in the same faith that has sustained me. In his moments of vulnerability, he turned to the God he doubted before.
Navigating his care options has been fraught with difficult decisions, from choosing nursing homes to providing puree when he was unable to swallow, and deciding on end-of-life treatments. But in moments of uncertainty, God's provision has been evident. We were blessed with different options for his care, including the availability of two Chinese nursing homes providing compassionate support. Additionally, we received timely medical advice, and the transition from the nursing home to the hospital for palliative care was unexpectedly smooth.
Through this journey, I have come to understand that even in our helplessness, there is the potential for spiritual transformation. I am reminded of the importance of cherishing each moment we have. May we all be inspired to heed the wisdom of Psalm 90:12, embracing each day as a precious gift, and seeking wisdom in how we live our lives.
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當面對生命中的困難時，我們時常會沉思於存在與意義的深層問題。詩篇90:12 說：“求你指教我們怎樣數算自己的日子，好叫我們得著智慧的心。” 這提醒我們思考日子將匆匆流逝，讓我們在時間的運用上尋求智慧。
我在父親患病期間的經歷正是如此。當我父親在今年一月被確診患有腦癌時，我當時在外參與短宣，他不得不在痛苦和無助中掙扎。看著他的情況迅速惡化並不容易；從最初的半身癱瘓到吞嚥等基本功能也喪失，每個階段都痛苦地表明生命的脆弱。
然而，在黑暗中，依然閃爍著微光。神垂聽了他的禱告，他請求我代求的事情得以實現，讓他得以見證2022年的世界盃。去年，他身體狀況良好，足以參加兩個孫兒的婚禮，其中一個婚禮要到外地的，神也應允了我的祈求。盡管我父親一直存有懷疑的態度，他主動要求信靠那同樣支持我的信仰。但在最衰弱的時候，他轉向了曾經懷疑的上帝。
在他最後的歲月中，要為他作出決擇尤其困難。其中包括挑選最合適的䕶老院、在他已無法吞嚥時吃流質食物，善終療法的決擇。但在不確定的時刻，神的供應是明顯的。感恩我們遇到各樣的選擇，包括兩所中國䕶老院提供的宿位。此外，我們也得到適時的醫療建議，而且將爸爸從䕶老院轉移到醫院接受姑息療法的過程也十分順利。
通過這些經歷，我明白到即使在無助的境地中，也會有屬靈上的轉機。我們要珍惜每一刻。願我們也受到詩篇90:12的智慧所啟發，將每一天視為寶貴的禮物，並在我們生活中尋求智慧。
